Looking In
by CupcakeBean
Summary: A collection of ficlets, the Booth and Brennan relationship from various POVs. Rated T for language. *Chap. 8 post-ep for "Con Man"* *Chap. 9 post-ep for "Passenger"*
1. Envious

**Disclaimer: **These characters do not belong to me. I wish they did, but sadly they do not.

**A/N: **This is the first in a series of oneshots I plan to write. It's taken from Angela's (or really my own) POV. Please R&R!

...

**Envious**

I find myself smiling as I watch them bicker about some meaningless point or another. I wonder if they even remember what they're fighting about. He knows how to push her buttons and she knows how to drive him nuts. Yet, as heated as their arguments get at times, they are always careful not to do any lasting damage. It always amazes me how they manage to pick fights with each other and end up closer. It's like some kind of emotional foreplay.

As their voices get louder (they are practically yelling now), I notice other people looking at them curiously. They are oblivious, completely absorbed in each other. She pokes him in the chest, he rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Both are clearly irritated.

And then, suddenly, he grabs her arm and she playfully slaps him away. He grins at her and she can't resist. A slow smile dawns on her face. He throws an arm casually around her shoulders and they walk off together. And I just watch them go, envious.


	2. Unscientific Observations

**Disclaimer: **These characters do not belong to me. I wish they did, but sadly they do not.

**Spoiler:** The Secret in the Soil

**A/N: **This started out as a little oneshot, but it ended up fairly long. Anyway, this is Sweets's POV of the final scene in "The Secret in the Soil."

...

**Unscientific Observations**

These two fascinate me. I can't imagine how two people, who are so in sync, are unwilling or unable to acknowledge their true feelings. Take today, for example. I had prepared myself for another excruciating session; forcing this pair to talk about their feelings was like pulling teeth. I mentally braced myself when they plopped down in my chairs, dejectedly.

"So, case finished?" I asked.

"Yes," Dr. Brennan answered quietly.

"Congratulations."

"Yeah," Agent Booth responded glumly.

"You don't seem too happy."

"Well, because sometimes, if you win, you end up with somebody else's pain and screwed-up life. You work for the FBI, you should know that."

"Must be a challenge for you to access those feelings," I prodded, trying to evoke a reaction in him. To my surprise, it was Dr. Brennan that rose to the bait.

"Okay, stop. You don't know Booth. You don't know me. You have a limited view of us based on superficial data you've accumulated on a standardized questionnaire, and a subjective analysis from talking to us that is not at all scientific. So _back_ _off_."

"Just trying to help."

"By questioning his humanity?" She was really getting worked up now. Dr. Brennan was usually so reserved in our sessions, but apparently needling her partner was all it took to tap into her emotional side. Agent Booth knew just how to appease her.

"Okay, Bones, now you're going a little bit overboard. He's just a kid. Right? I mean, the worst thing that's probably ever happened to him was he lost at Mortal Kombat." By insulting me, he was trying to take the focus off his partner.

"Are you normally this protective of him, Dr. Brennan?"

"We are partners. Our lives depend on being protective of each other," she responded matter-of-factly.

"And you feel the same way, Agent Booth?"

"Sweets, I can only hope that one day you know what a real partnership is." He was trying to get me off track again, calling me "Sweets" when I had asked him not to. It was interesting; He obviously felt his "partnership" with Dr. Brennan was something I should aspire to, although therapists do not generally work with a partner.

"You two are very close, that was evident in your superficial, standardized questionnaire and my unscientific observations. You complement each other."

Agent Booth laughed. "Ha! No, she never compliments me. Did you compliment me in the questionnaire?" Did I detect some insecurity beneath his arrogant façade?

"'Com_ple_ment,' not 'com_pli_ment.' '-Ple.' He means that we complete each other, as a team." Funny, but I didn't remember saying "as a team."

"Yeah, right." Agent Booth looked very uncomfortable. I would bet it had more to do with Dr. Brennan's "we complete each other" statement, rather than embarrassment over being corrected.

"Now, we've got a lot to work on over the next few months," I began, noting the look that passed between the two.

"Meaning we get to stay together?" Dr. Brennan asked, hopefully. As much as she liked to pretend that Agent Booth was more invested in their partnership, her actions (and the questionnaire) frequently betrayed her.

"Yes."

"I'm sensing a 'but,'" Agent Booth said quietly to his partner.

"However…" I tried to continue.

"It's the same as a 'but,'" Dr. Brennan replied to her partner.

"I have observed some underlying issues that need to be addressed."

"Issues?" Agent Booth asked.

"Yes. There's clearly a very _deep_emotional attachment between you two…" I couldn't hide my amusement.

"We're _just_ _partners_," Agent Booth insisted.

"And why do you think I would have thought otherwise?" I challenged him.

"'Cause you're 12." Didn't he know by now that insulting my age wasn't going to throw me?

Dr. Brennan jumped in to diffuse her partner's growing irritation with me. "Don't read into anything that Booth said. We're professionals. There's a line that doesn't even need to be there." She truly didn't realize her own actions spoke more about their relationship than anything Agent Booth had said.

"Not at all, I mean, if there were no more murders, I would probably not even, you know, see her." This seemed like a troublesome idea to him.

"That's very true," she agreed.

"We might have coffee," he suggested.

"Probably not," she said, dismissively.

"What?" he asked surprised.

"What?" She recognized the hurt in his tone, but didn't understand the reason for it.

"You wouldn't even have coffee with me?" There was that insecurity again. I suspected he didn't feel "good enough" to be more than her partner, something I would have to delve into in future sessions.

"Well, in your scenario, we wouldn't even know each other because there are no murders." Dr. Brennan wanted to make things better, but she didn't understand how she had offended him. She was just being logical, after all.

"Were. I said 'no _more_ murders.'" Agent Booth was determined to get this straightened out.

"Then fine. I mean, we could have coffee. So that's clear, then?" She was desperately trying to smooth things over without making another blunder. "I mean, we'd have coffee and that's our relationship? Coffee." Afraid of offending him again, she wanted to reestablish their friendship.

"Yeah, let's move on." Realizing they were dangerously close to actually defining their relationship, Agent Booth shut the conversation down. The two shot each other uncertain looks. They were in uncharted waters here. I couldn't wait to push them out of their comfortable little bubble!


	3. Unsure

**Disclaimer: **These characters do not belong to me. I wish they did, but sadly they do not.

**A/N: **I'm sure you can figure out whose POV this one is. :) It took me quite a while to write such a short little story! A big thanks for all the positive reviews for my other ficlets!

…

**Unsure**

Somehow he's gotten in. As hard as I fought to keep him out, he managed to get in. He's made his way into my life, into my head, and into my heart.

And I'm not sure how I feel about it.

He "knows" me. Daffodil… Daisy… Jupiter… I don't know how he does it. And I don't like it.

He makes me smile. As much as I resist, he can somehow brighten my foul moods by flashing me his "charm smile." It annoys me.

He's my constant. I try to push him away, but he won't budge. I pretend I don't need anyone, but he never falls for it. Whenever I feel like my life is slipping out of control, he holds me up, keeps me from falling. That scares me.

He's given me back my family. Without him, I wouldn't have known what happened to my mother. I wouldn't have reconnected with my brother. And I would _never _have forgiven my father. I wish he would mind his own damn business! And I'm glad he won't.

I try to close myself off from the world, but he won't let me. I have stifled my emotions for most of my life, but he forces me to deal with them. I hate him for it.

And I love him for it.

I am terrified by how important he is to me. I need him. I don't _want_ to need him, but I do.

And I'm not sure how I feel about it.


	4. The Tell

**Spoiler**: Slight spoiler for "The Finger in the Nest"

**A/N**: Just an FYI… "A _tell_ in poker is a subtle but detectable change in a player's behavior or demeanor that gives clues to that player's assessment of his hand. A player gains an advantage if he observes and understands the meaning of another player's tell, particularly if the tell is unconscious and reliable." (Thanks Wikipedia!)

…

**The Tell**

Angela strolled into her best friend's office. Brennan was sitting at her desk, staring dreamily into space, a wistful smile playing on her lips.

"What's that look for?" Angela asked, already knowing the answer.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking about something…" Brennan abruptly stopped smiling.

Angela smirked. "What did Booth do?"

"How did you—What makes you think it has anything to do with Booth?"

"You have a tell, Sweetie. You get all defensive when you're thinking about Booth."

"I do not!"

"You're actually proving my point," Angela stated smugly. "So what is it?"

Brennan hesitated. She didn't want to add to Angela's "You're in love with Booth" teasing. "Well…"

"C'mon Bren. I'm in the mood for a little girl talk."

"It's nothing really. I was just thinking about him helping me bury Ripley's remains. He's sentimental about the silliest things."

"Yeah, and I bet he had to jump through a lot of hoops at the Bureau to do that."

"You think?" Brennan hadn't considered that Booth might have had difficulty getting possession of the dog's remains. Her partner always seemed to make things happen. She'd never given it much thought.

Angela chuckled as a mix of emotions passed over her friend's face. "Yeah, it's _his_ tell…"

"What do you mean?"

"He… cares… about you. The way he goes out of his way for you… He would do anything for you… It's all so obvious." She smiled, watching the realization dawn on Brennan's face. For the first time, her friend was waking up to the truth.

Brennan's gazed suddenly pinned to Angela's face. "Yes, Sweetie," Angela answered the silent question. "It's about damn time you opened your eyes!"


	5. Shivers

**A/N**: My first double drabble! I'm so excited. :) Set in the future.

...

**Shivers**

Brennan awoke in the middle of the night shivering. She pulled her blankets up to her chin and nestled herself in deeper.

Her thoughts, as they so often did, turned to her partner. When had he become so important to her? She'd fought her entire life to be self-sufficient. She'd done her best to keep everyone at a distance. How had he gotten past all her defenses?

What scared her most was how much she depended on him, how much she needed him. She looked forward to seeing him every day. She'd come to rely on his reassuring smile. She cherished his loving words. His "guy hugs" were now her main source of comfort. She felt like something was missing when his hand wasn't at the small of her back. Even their bickering made her feel alive. How had she let it happen?

She shivered again, for a different reason. He reached out for her in the darkness and, rolling over, curled his warm body around hers. He tucked the blanket around them and draped an arm over her, enveloping her. She snuggled closer and he sighed contentedly. And she smiled. Yep, he always knew just what she needed.


	6. That's Why

**A/N**: As one reviewer commented, I hadn't written any ficlets from Booth's POV yet. Actually I had attempted to, but they kept turning into long oneshots (see "Distracted" and "Perfect"). Personally, I think Booth knows he's in love with Brennan, but isn't sure he _wants_ to be in love with her. This was written with the idea that he's trying to talk himself out of it. Let me know what you think!

…

**That's Why**

There are many, _many_ days I wonder just how the hell this woman has come into my life. She's the most maddening, frustrating, irritating person I've ever known. She manages to push every single one of my buttons on a daily basis. I lost track of how many times I've wanted to strangle her. She drives me insane!

And I've never been more in love with a woman in all my life.

I have no idea how it happened. Somewhere in the middle of arguing and butting heads with her, I discovered that I actually like her. Somehow, I managed to catch a glimpse of the woman behind her abrasive façade. Life has kicked the shit out of her and, like me, she's just trying to fight her way through it all. I understand her more than anyone else.

Still, she can really piss me off!

She mocks my religious beliefs. She scoffs at my views on love, sex, marriage, and parenthood. She thinks my "cosmic balance sheet" is ridiculous. She doesn't trust my "gut." She corrects me. She pokes and prods, nags and annoys and contradicts me. And picks and picks and picks and picks…

One day I would like a loving wife, a house with a white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a dog running in the yard. I want to settle down… get a safe job, take my family to church on Sundays, enjoy an evening walk with my wife, help my kids with their homework. I don't want to chase murderers forever. This is the exact opposite of what she wants in life. _So why the hell am I waiting around for her to finally _see_ me?_

"Booth."

I turn my head, meeting her pale blue eyes. They're sparkling with some unreadable emotion. My heart flutters and my breath catches… _Oh, that's why._


	7. Nice Guys Finish Last

**Spoiler:** "The Boneless Bride in the River"

**A/N:** Booth's reaction in this scene from "Boneless Bride" really spoke volumes, in my opinion. He'd been grappling with Brennan's relationship with Sully all along, so when faced with the possibility of losing her, he was completely torn apart. I love the fact that he was speechless... Not something we normally see in our favorite G-man! :)

...

**Nice Guys Finish Last**

"He's leaving for the Caribbean."

My stomach fluttered and a sudden sense of elation washed over me. _Finally!_ Finally I was being rewarded for being a good friend, a good partner. It was about damn time for the nice guy to finish first! When I caught sight of the sadness in her eyes though, I felt bad.

"Really?" She nodded numbly. "Look, I'm – I'm sorry, Bones. I – I know that the two of you were kinda hittin' it off…" I glanced at her again and noticed that she looked sort of shell-shocked. As much as I wanted her to feel better, I couldn't help being thrilled that Sully would soon be gone forever.

"He wants me to go with him."

My stomach dropped. I felt like I'd been socked in the gut. I was at a loss for words. "Oh." I couldn't meet her eyes. "Oh… Yeah…" I felt like she'd just ripped my heart out of my chest.

"He – he says I should take a year off, a sabbatical. He says it'll be fun."

That rat bastard! If Sully had been standing in front of me at that moment, I would have punched him in the face. And I'm not sure I would have stopped at one. I could feel the fury building in my stomach.

"Yeah, it would be." They were the only words I could manage.

"But you just said he'd be shipwrecked with a volleyball."

"Well, he's got you. He doesn't need the volleyball." I could hear the bitterness in my own voice, but could do nothing to hide it.

She stared at me in surprise. "You think I should go?"

I paused, forcing myself to look at her. Did she want me to ask her to stay? I wanted to, with every fiber of my being, but at what cost? "Yeah… Yeah." I'd never really lied to her before. It's just not something we did – deceive each other. "Yeah. I mean, you know it's, uh, one year out of your life…" Even as I spoke the words, I felt devastated. She valued my opinion, more than anyone else's, and I knew she would listen to me. "I mean, a person's gotta live wide. And this is kinda narrow…"

Was I actually talking her into going with him? I wrestled with my conscience, my selfishness, but I couldn't live with myself if I stood in her way. Her happiness meant more than my own. It would probably kill me, but I had to let her go.


	8. Piece of Cake

**Spoiler:** "The Con Man in the Meth Lab" (This probably won't make much sense unless you've seen it.)

**A/N:** I'm still blown away by "Con Man!" That was such an amazing episode and a huge step forward for Booth and Brennan. It was so nice to get a little bit of Booth's background, which is obviously quite painful. This is my first post-ep, an extension of the final scene (not that it needed it!), so let me know what you think!

…

**Piece of Cake**

"Do you need time… and space?"

I looked up into her hopeful gaze and softened a little. I was still hurt and angry that she'd believed I was a loser, even if it hadn't lasted long, but I knew she was trying to make it up to me.

I smiled. "Just some time." I jerked my head slightly, inviting her to sit with me. No matter what, she was still my Bones.

She sat. I sulked. She held up a piece of my birthday cake and produced two forks. I took a bite of cake and she followed suit. For some inexplicable reason, the intimacy of the gesture made me want to confide in her.

"My dad drank." My fucked up family was a painful subject, but sitting there with Bones, I opened up for the first time. Avoiding her penetrating eyes, I continued.

"Jared…" My lips curved in an ironic smile. "Jared's always had a knack for getting into sticky situations. I can't tell you how many times I had to sneak him through our bedroom window, or forge our dad's signature on his report card, or pick him up from the bar at 3 am."

"Always the protector…," she pointed out. I nodded without looking at her.

"Our dad… He had a temper. The drinking only made it worse. He had a short fuse, so I tried really hard not to make him mad. Jared wasn't so careful. As the older brother, I wanted to keep-keep the peace." I cleared my throat as my voice broke with emotion. "I-I couldn't always keep Jared out of trouble, but I could usually keep my dad from finding out about it."

"So you would take the blame." It wasn't a question. I nodded again.

"I just wish Jared would have learned to keep himself out of trouble. Maybe it's my fault for always protecting him…" I finally turned my head to look at her.

There were tears in her eyes. It shouldn't have surprised me. When she was hurting, it hurt me. I should have known it worked both ways. Still, I was touched by her reaction and the way her voice shook when she finally spoke.

"You did what you thought was right. You always do, even if it means taking the fall." Her eyes burned me with their intensity. "You're a good man, Booth." I watched a single tear trail slowly down her cheek.

We studied each other for a long moment. I reach out and caught her tear before it dropped from her chin. I had to swallow the lump in my throat before I could respond. "I promised myself my son would never have to worry that I don't love him. That he can make mistakes, we all do, and it won't change the way I feel about him." She nodded in silent approval. We sat quietly looking at each other.

I cleared my throat again and tried to lighten the moment. "Are you gonna eat that cake?" I motioned to the forgotten pastry.

Knowing what I was trying to do, she smiled affectionately. "Yes!"

I grinned. "Not if I eat it all first!" In a flash, I stabbed at the cake and started gobbling it up. Laughing, she playfully jabbed at my fork with her own. A flurry of utensils ensued until a single bite of cake remained.

We eyed the aftermath of our battle and then looked at each other warily. "You know, it _is_ my birthday, after all… So, really, I should get the last bite."

Her jaw dropped open in protest. "Well, yes, it is your birthday… but you ate more than me. So logically, _I_ should get the last bite." I smiled wickedly and my hand darted out to snatch the prize. "Hey!" She huffed in mock exasperation.

Victorious, I held the fork up to my lips. She shook her head, amused. Meeting her eyes, I slowly extended my fork out to her. Her smile widened and she opened her mouth to accept the bite.

"You have cake all over your face," she teased. On a sudden impulse, I leaned in and planted a big, sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"So do you."

"Booth!" She swiped at her face and my laugh echoed into the cool night.


	9. Biggest Fan

**Spoiler**: "The Passenger in the Oven" (Again, this probably won't make sense unless you've seen it.)

**A/N**: Two terrific eps in a row! The plot bunnies are infesting my brain!

…

**Biggest Fan**

Their murderer safely handcuffed to his seat, Booth and Brennan stood near the front of the plane, watching the passengers file out. Several people stopped to shake Brennan's hand enthusiastically.

"You have a lot of fans," Booth observed, smiling proudly.

Brennan rolled her eyes as a large man pumped her hand roughly. "Yeah and thanks to _you_, I also have the addresses of 58 'fans' expecting signed copies of my latest book."

Booth flashed her a charm smile. Despite her annoyance, she couldn't help smiling back. Booth chuckled and nudged her shoulder affectionately with his own. Dragging his gaze from his partner, he looked over at two elderly ladies who were gathering up their luggage. "Hey Bones, will you do me a favor?"

"What? Shake out my hair and say 'Mr. Booth, do you know what the penalty is for an overdue book?'" she asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

Booth let out a bark of laughter. He couldn't be sure, but he could swear there was a twinkle in her eye. "No, I'd like to introduce you to some friends." She allowed him to gently usher her over to the ladies with his hand on her lower back.

"Charlotte, Nadine… There's someone I'd like you to meet."

The two woman were star-struck. "Oh! Dr. Brennan! We're big fans of your books!" Charlotte babbled excitedly, while Nadine looked on in awe.

Brennan smiled warmly and shook their hands. Unlike most of her fans, these two didn't fawn all over her or try to initiate unwelcome intimacy. Besides, they were friends of Booth, which automatically elevated their status in her mind.

"These ladies were instrumental in solving our murder," Booth explained. "They happily provided us with tools for your autopsy and useful information that helped lead to the murderer." Both women beamed over Booth's flattering, if not slightly exaggerated, description of their involvement.

"We were thrilled to help," Charlotte gushed. "I only wish I had my copy of your book with me. I'd love to have your autograph." She frowned regretfully.

"Hold on to that thought…," Booth said as inspiration struck. He reached into the overhead compartment and hauled out his suitcase. Unzipping the front flap, he withdrew a hardcover novel. "You can have my copy." He glanced over at his surprised partner. "I don't think I'll have too much trouble getting a new one." Winking at Brennan, he added, "Maybe even an autographed copy…?" Laughing, she grabbed the book out of his hand.

The wannabe sleuths watched as their idol scrawled an inscription on the inside cover: "To Charlotte and Nadine: Your assistance was invaluable to our murder investigation. Sincerest thanks, Dr. Temperance Brennan." Booth, who had been reading over Brennan's shoulder, nodded his approval.

"Will you sign our book too?" Charlotte asked hopefully as Brennan handed her the book.

"Me?" Booth was surprised. "Why?"

"Well, because Special Agent Andy Lister is just as important to solving murders as Kathy Reichs." Chuckling as the partners shot each other confused glances, Charlotte explained, "I know who you are, Agent Booth… Dr. Brennan dedicated _Cross Bones_ to you. As soon as I realized who you were, I knew where she got her inspiration for Andy."

Brennan's mouth dropped open in protest. "Booth is _not_ the inspiration for Andy Lister. Andy Lister is a fictional character, as is Kathy Reichs. They aren't based on anyone."

Booth snorted. "So you're telling me that Kathy Reichs isn't you?"

Always literal, Brennan explained carefully, "I'm Temperance Brennan, remember Booth? Not Kathy Reichs."

Chuckling, Booth clarified. "I _meant_, you don't think Kathy Reichs is _based_ on you?"

"Of course not," she dismissed.

"_Right_… A beautiful, brilliant forensic anthropologist that works with the FBI identifying bodies and solving murders… She's nothing like you."

Sheepishly, Brennan conceded. "Fine… I guess Kathy Reichs is a _little_ like me, which is logical since I am the one writing about her." Booth grinned triumphantly, but she rushed on, "But Andy Lister is _not_ you!"

Flipping open the book, Charlotte began reading. "'Handsome, charming, and quick-witted, Agent Lister brought an unsurpassed vigor to his work.' That sure sounds like Agent Booth," she reasoned, earning a frown from Brennan.

Taking the book from Charlotte, Booth continued where she left off. "'His exuberance, though annoying," he quirked an eyebrow at his partner, "'Was often the only thing that got Kathy through her day.'" Slamming the book shut with finality, he gave Brennan a smug look. "That sounds pretty accurate… Except for the annoying thing."

"That does _not_ describe you!"

"I think it does," he taunted. Before she could protest again, he snatched the pen out of her hand. He chewed on the end, pausing to think of an appropriate inscription. Talking as he wrote, Booth scribbled out his message. "To Pan Oceanic's finest investigators, Charlotte and Nadine: Thanks for all your help with our case. Sincerely, Special Agent Seeley Booth."

Handing the book back to Charlotte, Booth resumed pestering his partner. "So what other aspects of my personality get you through your days? How about my sense of humor? My good looks? My winning smile?" He poked her playfully in her side with the pen.

Not amused, Brennan snatched the pen out of his grasp, wrinkling her nose when she realized it was wet with his saliva. "For the last time, Booth, you are _not_ the inspiration for Andy!"

Charlotte and Nadine smiled at each other knowingly. "We have to catch our connecting flight, but we're so honored to have met you both," Nadine said. Booth helped them gather their carry-on luggage and shook each lady's hand.

"This was the best flight I've ever been on," said Charlotte, repeating her earlier sentiment. She started to follow her companion toward the front of the plane. On an impulse, she turned back to the partners. "Dr. Brennan, I just have one question… Will Dr. Reichs and Agent Lister ever get together?"

Brennan seemed to mull over the question. "Well, I think Kathy and Andy are very good friends and I hesitate to get them involved romantically." She paused, giving the idea some serious thought. "However, I believe Kathy loves Andy and one day she'll probably realize they're perfect for each other, despite their differences."

Charlotte's knowing gaze turned to Booth. His smile widened in response and he gave her a small wink, unbeknownst to his partner. Charlotte nodded her approval and headed on her way, leaving the couple to resume their "discussion" about Andy Lister.


	10. What's in a Name?

**A/N**: This popped in my head while I was at work today… Not sure what inspired it. It's set between "Wannabe in the Weeds" and "Pain in the Heart" and is a very vague spoiler for both.

…

**What's in a Name?**

_Bones_. I never thought I'd miss that dreadful nickname. He started calling me that in the beginning, just to piss me off. If I could have come up with an equally annoying nickname for him, I would have. Unfortunately, with my social skills being what they are, I couldn't come up with anything that would irritate him. And so it stuck.

As time wore on, the nickname didn't bother me as much. I stopped protesting when he called me it. I actually started answering to it. And I don't think he was doing it to piss me off anymore. It became a weird term of endearment. _Bones_. As if it was actually my name.

Nobody else dared call me it. It was his name for me and neither of us would tolerate it from anyone else's lips. It became something special between us. _Bones_. He could convey so much meaning in that one little word. He said it when he was happy, or sad, or angry. He laughed it, whined it, groaned it. He used it to tease, to warn, to ask, to tell. And I embraced it.

I never realized how much I'd come to love it until I didn't hear it anymore. There was nothing left to fill the silence. There was a void that couldn't be filled. I was back to being Temperance Brennan again. I missed being _Bones_.


	11. Broken

**A/N**: Inspired by the song "Broken" by Lifehouse. I've included the lyrics at the end, but I strongly encourage everyone to listen to it. I think it describes B&B perfectly.

…

**Broken**

We knew each other the instant our eyes met. Okay, so we didn't actually _know_ each other from Adam, but there was something in each of us that reached out to the other. It was startling. We were introduced, shook hands, and as her gaze pinned to mine, I felt a flash of recognition wash over me. She felt it too. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously and she studied me curiously. Being unable to quantify the strange electricity that passed between us, she dismissed me brusquely.

It took me a while to figure out the strange bond we'd formed. We didn't like each other, yet we didn't quite _dislike_ each other either. Our strong personalities caused us to clash constantly and I wanted to walk away and leave her in my wake a hundred times. Something was holding me back though, and it apparently had a hold on her too, because as much as she tried to push me away, she wouldn't let me go.

An uneasy understanding started to form between us during that first case as partners, as equals. We were finding common ground and beginning to respect each other. The more I got to know her, the more I realized how alike we really are. We are damaged. We've been through more hurt and heartache than anyone should ever experience and it has left us hollow, broken. We've each seen the worst humanity has to offer and it's made us jaded, weary.

I've done my best to keep her out of my head. I've shared very little of my personal life with her, not wanting to burden her with my pain. What I never planned on was that she would work her way into my heart. I became fascinated with her; I wanted to know more and more of her. I embraced her flaws and she embraced mine. I measured my worth through her eyes and I began to heal.

Some days are harder than others. I often think the world would be a better place without me. My son should have a better role model, one that hasn't killed more than 50 people. But then I think of her… Even if every other damn person on this planet doesn't need me, she does. And I need her. So I'm holding on.

…

_**Broken by Lifehouse**_

_**The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out**_

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning**_

_**The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead  
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life**_

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain is the healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you**_

_**I'm hangin' on another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say  
You said that I will, will be ok**_

_**The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home**_

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain is there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on  
I'm barely holdin' on to you  
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on**_


End file.
